Talk:The Business of Blogging: The Influence Cultural Entrepreneurs have on Products Sales - Specifically Fashion Bloggers/@comment-27012100-20151028020038

This is a very current topic, so you have lots of material to work with, which is great. So far you have a good direction I feel, but most of the content is rather vague. I think the main reason it comes off this way is because commercialization is a very broad concept.

Perhaps you can focus on authenticity. This still relates to commercialism because blogging is, at its core, a marketing tool. But it is a marketing tool that doesn't preach. It does not have the same coarse glossy feel like fashion magazines and haute couture ateliers. It appears more authentic and is more palatable for consumers. An article that talks about exactly this is:

Marwick, A. (2013). They’re really profound women, they’re entrepreneurs”: Conceptions of authenticity in fashion blogging. In  7th International AIII Conference on Weblogs and Social Media, July (Vol. 8).

A more technical detail I noticed in your writing is that you tend to generalize statements. If you mention a numerical fact (e.g. There are currently over 152 million blogs) or something that sounds empirical (e.g. The most influential fashion blogger- Chiara Ferragni) make sure to connect the factual information to a source. Otherwise the statements come off as opinion, which is not appropriate for this kind of paper.

Hope that helped a bit. I look forward to reading the result. Good luck.